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Accepting Imperfection in Yourself and Others
By Tina Calabrese, LCSW-R
Executive Director

There are many aspects of our society that are linear, black and white, good or bad, perfect or not. At an early age we are socialized to integrate that we should strive to be the best, the greatest, the prettiest, or most handsome. Perfectionism is valued, reinforced and revered. Most of us however are IMPERFECT. We are not the strongest, the smartest or the most handsome. This reality leaves us with feelings of worthlessness and low esteem for just being ourselves.

Perfectionism in an unreality. It is an illusion and not a practical goal. Striving to do your best is good for motivation and skill building but it does not mean you will be perfect. Wanting to be perfect only leaves you with criticism since it is not an attainable goal.

If you find yourself often picking on yourself and others or being critical it may be because you want perfection. Pointing out what you may need from a friend or partner is healthy communication. It is also healthy to ask someone you love to consider changing a part of them that hurts you but remember both you and your loved one are human. Change is difficult and struggle is almost always a part of change. The key point is to allow yourself and your loved one time to grow with the acceptance that both of you will make mistakes. The most important thing is motivation and the acknowledgement that your actions effect those around you.

Strive for awareness, empathy and a sincere desire to be the best person you can be but remember you will not be perfect. You will make mistakes you will wrestle with your emotions and your behaviors.

So welcome your humanity and chill….imperfection is beauty.  ■

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